ITS COLD

As I step out the door, my mouth I seal, 

My steps are smaller. nothing in sight to appeal. 

I feel not elated from dusk to dawn, 

I am but cold inside out. 

No feelings inside, just tears that fall, 

A smile I wear, just another sensation.

My nose is pink that I hide from all. 

I have gone numb, no more anticipations. 

The coffee is still warm, 

The fire is still burning. 

On my blanket I lay  wrapped, 

Not  a thing around I am yearning. 

I stare at the ice melted on the floor, 

I see the same person but those eyes I dont know. 

The pictures on the wall I see nomore, 

Who really knows what lies behind closed doors.

The times are hard, one has to be bold, 

Smile and go on, a rule of the world. 

When the sun us up, and everyone is around. 

Its my smile you see, but I am still cold. 

TESTIMONY

I was just a little boy,

An orphan for a five year old.

You believed I was a little spoilt,

Who never did what he was told.

My mind was but in a turmoil.

I was too young, I did not know.

I stepped into school,

my life was bounded by their rules.

You believed I got into fights,

with boys who beat me and swore.

Deeply hurt I cried myself to sleep at night,

my anger I could not control.

I grew up alone, with not a single soul,

the correct path of life, I was never showed.

You believed I liked noone to be around.

you know not how I pretended to be bold. 

You know not the feeling of living in darkness, 

the feeling of lonliness, to hear your own heart pound. 

The pressure still building I could take it nomore, 

I tried to fight hunger, in your ruthless world. 

You believed I was lazy, while I tried to be decent,

looking for work, I couldnt remain afloat.

You, the people made me this deliquent,

Standing here facing you in a juvenile court.

A STEP FORWARD...A STEP BACK

Many doors, so many paths,

Many are closed, but a few still remain open.

Which one must I walk through I can't choose.

Too scared to take a step forward,

Too bold to take a step back.

Many faces, so many names,

Many are known, but a few we call friends.

Which ones must I trust I cannot recognize.

Too scared to take a step forward,

Too bold to take a step back.

Many thoughts, so many memories,

Many fade away, many still remain fresh.

Which ones must I erase I cannot identify.

Too scared to take a step forward,

Too bold to take a step back.

Many feelings, so many emotions,

Many to show, but a few remain sublime.

Which ones myst I hide I cannot decide.

Too scared to take a step forward,

Too bold to take a step back.

Many actions, so many deeds,

Many are corrected, but a few remain undone.

Which ones myst I regret I cant determine.

Too scared to take a step forward,

Too bold to take a step back.